January 8, 2012 – Wisdom 3

I am not good with death. I don’t seem to do very well at funerals and I find it uncomfortable when people are laughing and cheery at funerals. I understand it, that they are celebrating a good life lived and maybe even dealing with their grief with humor, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable. I never know what to say or how to act. I tend to just be quite and by myself if I can manage. The times when I have had to participate or stand in the family line have been the worst because I am forced to be around people and interact when I don’t want to. I can’t imagine this is a healthy way to deal with death and funerals, but I just can’t get over that wall to the celebration of a life that quickly. When I think about my grandparents that have died, the funerals I really remember the most, I can think of them now and remember the good lives they lived and be grateful, but not at the funerals. It just seems to be too close to the lose. I wonder if it is ok to ask that my funeral take place 2 or 3 weeks after my death so that people like me have more time to let it sink in. Granted, I am assuming anyone comes.

The lack of humor at a funeral also may come from the fact that the things I think are funny are only funny to others 1 out of 10 times and nothing is more awkward that bombing a joke than doing it at a funeral.

This first part of the chapter comes at a time when we just finished going to the funeral of a friend’s funeral for their baby that died at 3 days old. I don’t know how much the infant suffered or felt pain. One of my co-workers lost a friend’s family member to cancer recently to, so I sent her the first part of the chapter. It is a very reassuring piece and goes along with what we just talked about, God’s ways not being ours.