Reflection on February 6, 1980

https://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/jp2tb16.htm

We are again contemplating the idea that we are meant to be a gift to another. Before the fall, there was an inner innocence that allowed a perfect giving and receiving of each other as gift. There were no barriers of accepting the other as anything but what God had created in them. Because of this innocence, this giving and receiving are at the height of dignity. We can apply that scale to our own relationships. The more innocent the giving or receiving of the gift, the higher the dignity of the gift. It follows that when gifts are given under false pretences or received with ulterior motives, the gift loses its dignity. When things are done that are not giving or receiving, but a distorted form of the giving act, we can see that all dignity is lost.

It follows, although JPII brings it up but then says it will be covered in more detail later, that the more you move away from this innocence in giving and receiving, you move further away from the dignity of the giver/receiver. The human becomes less what God intended and more an object, what the world wants us to think we are. As the world spins its tale of freedom and relativism, people have become less and less human and have been objectified. We are nothing but numbers in a system, cogs in the system, stats in an equation. It makes you think about why polls seem so important when decisions are being made and why those in charge want them so bad. People seem not to think for themselves, but rely on numbers to tell them what they are to think and do. Even dating (granted I know people that have met and are very happy to have met online) has been given over to statistics to determine how you are suitable for. The world wants to do everything in its power to remove the dignity from the individual. That is why it is so comfortable calling babies blobs, the hospitalized vegetables, pornography art.

Speaking of pornography, it is obvious that the woman discovers who she is through the man’s acceptance of her. That is what is supposed to happen in the union of husband and wife. At that union, the woman fully realizes her essence in the acceptance of her husband. What type of acceptance can she receive from a husband addicted to pornography? That acceptance can never be fully given, it is not innocent, and it is corrupted. If the acceptance is not there, the woman can never fully understand her own essence. A household where that is an issue is a household that has a chasm between husband and wife because that full acceptance is lacking. There may be other divides that separate many husbands and wives, but with the proliferation of pornography in our culture, this chasm will continue to effect more and more couples, barring true acceptance and depriving dignity from our homes.

He really has not touched on the conjugal act yet, but all the discussion of giving and receiving fully points us in that direction. I think it is clear that he is leading us to a point where we will see that this act is a summation and climax of this union. Each act is a renewal of the vows that husband and wife shared on the day of their marriage, a recommitment to all that they have given and received from each other. Because it points back to this union, it is so fundamental that this act be given and received fully. We are discovering what it means to not fully give and receive, what it takes away from the gift, how it strips it of dignity. It is this fullness of the gift that Catholics rely on as the foundation for its teachings on contraception. We also see that the act relies on a full and complete commitment, thus the teaching that the act outside of marriage is wrong. It is not pointing back to anything, it lacks fullness, it lacks dignity.

Words I looked up.

Dignity - bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.

Transmutation - to change from one nature, substance, form, or condition into another; transform.