Reflection on October 10, 1984

https://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/jp2tb122.htm

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. That is what I thought of when reading this. SJPII talks about the importance of continence and its importance in the fullness of showing love. Although we all know the saying and I think for the most part we all agree that it is true, we don’t like it. The only time we use it is when we are trying to cheer ourselves or someone else up about the fact that they are leaving or losing something. I don’t know if I have ever been in a situation in which I was glad to leave and thought of this saying. We bring it up to console what may appear to be a sacrifice. But we bring it up because we know it is true. That being apart from this thing or person will increase our appreciation when we return.

However, the world, although they still may use the saying, does not believe in it or think it is actually true. The world believes absence is unnecessary and should not be tolerated. Absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. It hurts and I should never have to hurt. That is the way the world treats sex. You should have it whenever you want it and no one or nothing should restrict that, not even biology. You should be able to get around biology with barriers or chemicals, and if biology wins, abortion can remove biology. But God understands that absence is good for us, sacrifice is good for us, longing and appreciation are good for us. That is how we grow to love and give and give more fully to the other.

Having something without limitation allows us to take it for granite, it becomes boring, it becomes unattractive. We see this with the effects that pornography has on a person. What it starts out as, very tame, very minimal, if allowed to continue will become not enough. What satisfied before will not satisfy now and the person moves on to something more erotic. The further you push down that road the further you slip into a place where extremely unnatural things are all that arouse and this world is a virtual one. It is not real, but it affects your real world and the way you see it. Far beyond its effect on how you view humanity and how that develops your view and relationship with God, it affects your view and relationship with spouses.

The absence that God created in the human union of male and female is for our good, for our benefit, for our growth in love of each other and with Him. God didn’t make a mistake placing periods of infertility on a cycle just like it is not mistake and for a specific reason that He rested on the 7^th day and instructs us to do the same. God gave us these things to help us. When we ignore them, especially for the sole purpose of seeking worldly or physical pleasure, we are moving down a very dangerous path, an unnatural path, and one that only leads further away from God and understanding our true meaning as humans.