Reflection on October 31, 1984

https://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/jp2tb124.htm

SJPII seems to be saying, along the lines of what was mentioned earlier, that the perception that continence brings about more inner tensions is wrong. Only if you see the negative only might you find that argument. But looking at the positives, the doors that are opened with continence, the greater ability to receive love, the inner tensions are lessoned.

That is not the way I thought about it or at least the image that popped into my mind was a different way (or maybe not) of thinking about it. I went back to what it was like dating in college. I wasn’t a big dater, but I did, and I imagine it is at least the same if not more sexually active now as it was 14 YEARS AGO. (Oh my that makes me feel old) Picture 2 people meeting or going on a date. Imagine if both are sexually active. Throughout the date you can imagine that both are constantly thinking how far are things going to go, what did that touch mean, should I invite myself for a drink, is she wearing that to tell me one thing or another, etc. Then if it does not lead to sex on the first date, are both thinking why not, or will it be the second, the third, if not the forth what is wrong, etc. The lack on continence leads to an over abundance of inner tension in regards to sexual activity that completely distract from the actual relationship.

Now, picture two people on a date and both fully understand that the other is waiting until marriage. There will still be the awkward moments, do I have food in my teeth, did I just snort while laughing, yes or no on the good night kiss, cheek or lips, etc. But there will not be the distracting of sex. They will not waste time worrying about it, wondering if this is the night. They can spend all that time the other couple waste actually getting to know the other and communicating. They can learn to communicate and express themselves without sex. They can learn to love each other and express that love outside of sex. It seems obvious as to which couple will have the stronger relationship, and probably obvious to everyone, if they are honest with themselves, as to which one they want to belong. But the world says the first is normal and the second is odd and old fashioned. That is the example I thought of when I think of the inner tensions continence can reduce.