Monday, June 23, 2003

Well, it was back to life as usual today. The plague that I got yesterday has all but left completely. If you look hard, you can still see some red splotches. Overall, I think I would have gone through all of yesterday again if given the choice between it and never seeing what we saw. I may think differently after, I will see, but I doubt I will ever have the experience of doing what few do. I spent the night in the Gap of Dunloe.

Well, just wrote a postcard to Michelle telling her what I discovered yesterday. Cannot take it back now, not that I want too. I do not know if this is the best way to do, but I could not contain it and I probable would not talk to her and you, my trusty journal, can only hear it so many times before you lose your power to contain me. I did it in the usual corny Matt style. I wrote it and then put masking tape over it so she will not see it right away. I imagine the tape will fall off in the shipping and all the surprise and romance, if it can be called that, will be spoiled. But I tried.

I am not to keen on those sorts of things and wish they had a class I could take for credit. But it is the thought that counts, and I think Michelle knows I know nothing about doing this sort of thing. Oh well. I just hope she is further along than I am in her thinking, which I think she is, or does not freak out when she sees it. You always see it in shows when one says it and it is not immediately returned, then there is and awkwardness. I think I have eluded this problem and caused another. I do not know when she will receive my postcard, so the next time I talk to her it could go a few different ways.

Either she has not got it and I do not say what I am thinking, which could be dishonest in a way, or she has got it and she is not ready and freaks out, as stated earlier, and it is a very ugly phone call. She gets it, likes it, but does not say it cause she wants it to be in person, not a likely situation, but possible, or she was on the fence and it pushed her one way or the other and she decides to end it or she says it back.

Now that I wrote down all that could happen, I only seem to have a one in five chance things are 100% ok and am rethinking the whole deal. But it is too late, the postcard is written and will be sent accordingly and the Lord's will be done. Speaking of the Big Guy, while I was having my miserable part of the day, I was thinking a lot about suffering and what not, and saying the rosary and just wishing something would end it. I just thought that after Michelle was called and my family and I had a long shower and food and I was better, I never thanked Him. Well THANK YOU. Wrote it big so He can see. Just goes to prove how even us that know it is true that "when we suffer we ask for help and when it is given we do not thank Him", and try not to do it, still do. Why are we so ignorant and yet He loves us so.

June 23, 2007

Well, it worked, kinda. She did get it with the tape on, but she didn't see it before the next time we talked. But is all worked out in the end.

MILK