Wednesday, August 13, 2003

The level of anger I feel right now can not be explained. It is 3:00 and guess what, I am still in Paris. That means I have missed the flight home. Home to my family, friends, and mostly Michelle. Oh, and no fault of my own. That question about whether patience is a bad thing. Yes, it can be. I arrived at the exact spot I was supposed to be at 11:00. Flight leaves at 2:45. Maybe a little extreme, but I wanted to take no chances. And I wait and wait and wait. It is now 2:00 and guess who shows up, Jenn, with her father. We know we are in a hurry, so we get in line and start to check our bags and then they tell us the flight is closed. Closed.

You must check your bags 45 minutes before departure. No if’s, and’s, or but’s. It was 2:04 when we found this out. I had waited for Jenn and now I was screwed. Why am I such a fool? Why can’t I be an asshole just once in my life and have left her ass here in Paris. Now I must take another flight, through New York that arrives tomorrow morning in St. Louis. Then, catch a ride with Jenn’s father to home. I will not see Michelle for at least another week probably. And Jenn has showed any remorse, any guilt. Not in the least. God forbid she say sorry, but she does not even act it, let alone say it.

My cut was healing quite well, starting to scab. Reopened it in the bustle and now it is bleeding again. We will be overnight in New York with no place to stay. This was supposed to be a great day. Long and all, but great. See Michelle, drive and talk, see home, family. Rest and have fun Thursday. All for not. And why, because Jenn. Not even an excuse has she given me. Not a reason, not a why. She shows up, ruins my whole trip back, and could care less than anyone.

Why did I ever agree to go on this thing? Why, with her. I doubted my ability to go alone and quite right to do so, but why her. It would have been so easy to leave her. I would feel guilty, but I would be home. Why give such graces to a person who needs them so little, or deserves them less. 2 or three options.

Either I am English, Old fashioned, or an alcoholic. All those would get drunk when pissed off. And so I am drunk. So drunk that the steward gave me a free wine because I had bought so much liquor. It makes flying s much more enjoyable and really does make trouble disappear. I do not think I have been “driven to drinking” before today, but I do not know if I have ever been so furious. If they say when you trust someone with small things, those are the people you will also trust with big things. If it works both ways, and I actually do this, I will never lend Jenn the amount of 5 dollars because she is the most unreliable person and self centered person I have ever met.

And I go to law school. There may actually be some of the students from USF that could take the cake, but I never had to rely on them, so I have no room to judge. Jean Gray is definitely coming back. Just got done watching X-Men 2. This time I was not the most hung over I have ever been in my life. She is going to come back pretty powerful too. I wonder how someone is going to finish what Strider started, or who. The problem with 2 is that they did not leave a human enemy. You knew from 1 that Wolverine’s past would be involved in 2, but, although there will be a sequel, this one did not leave too many clues as to the plot. Oh well.

Still a bit tipsy. I imagine that before long I am going to start getting really tired. Have not looked at my watch in a while but I imagine we are a least half way through our voyage. I forgot, or did not realize, how much I missed country music. Over the one month without hearing one note at all. The plane has a country station that plays the same songs over and over, but they are pretty good ones, so I will not complain. Oh, by the way, if this overnight in New York is anything like the fiasco of Bath, then I will be up all night watching over sweet Pocketsize while she sleeps. Just more of the patient, gentlemanly sap I am.