Reflection on November 7, 1984

https://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/jp2tb125.htm

The idea that continence is something that is old fashioned goes to show how far the world has gone in the wrong direction. Continence is an ability to control your emotions, your urges, your physical self against those impulses that push us to want to do things we probably shouldn’t. The more I see my kids grow up, the more I see that controlling ourselves is a very difficult task and is not something that is a part of us. But the idea that we shouldn’t have to control ourselves, that we should get whatever we want when we want it is completely childish. That is what a child believes and thinks. The world has given itself over to an ideology that is the equivalent of a 3-6 year old. To think that civilizations were formed with the deep thoughts of Aristotle and the like, contemplating the very deepest understandings of human knowledge, and the world feels that progress can only be made by basing its ideologies on the selfish thoughts of a 5 year old. The arguments against continence and its benefits basically boil down to a angry 5 year old throwing a fit that he didn’t get the toy he perceives to be better that his younger sibling got. (First hand and very recent experience tells me that this is not a pretty model to follow)

Continence during the natural cycle, as we have stated, can be abused. But the further purpose beyond the spacing of children is also a growing together of the two in a way outside of the conjugal act. This growth is a unique and important part of the reason that God created us with these cycles and allows for this growth. The two, if they only unite in the conjugal act, will not truly be united because that is only one aspect of the union. The two become one. That means in life as a whole. They must learn each other, know each other, and fully love the other. This, although the conjugal act is an important part, cannot be fully done by it. It needs to be shown in the everyday, the living of life. Without continence, there is a much stronger possibility that this growth will not happen, that the relationship will be formed around the conjugal act. Without this growth, they will never be able to fully give, fully receive, and the conjugal act will not have its fullness. But it continence is practiced, if that relationship grows during those periods, the conjugal act does take on its fuller meaning and furthers that growth of union.